I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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