I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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