yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
