He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
