Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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