Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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