just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
