just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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