i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
