i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just had sex on a roof
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
