omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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