The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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