Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
