I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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