hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm bleeding and have questions
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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