wrigley field is MILF paradise
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
