Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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