i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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