I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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