I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
