and you said cock pushups were impossible
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
