I wish I could teleport
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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