By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
