U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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