P.S. I can't hear my feet
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
