so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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