we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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