It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
