I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just googled if crying burns calories
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
