i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
