we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i used baking grease as lip gloss
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
