shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
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