So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
