I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
