She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
