Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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