The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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