you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
