I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
