apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
