She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
