The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
