Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
