it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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