guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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