He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
