Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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