You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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