wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
