Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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