About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
